Don't click that..no...no...DOOOOOOON'T!

I was bored, so I recently sent this to one of my network users. The names have been changed, not to protect the innocent but to incriminate anybody with parents cruel enough to give them those names.


From: John Doe
To: Joe Blow
Date: 12/2/04 3:06PM
Subject: NETWORK WARNING

Our scanners have indicated the following high warning level conditions on your computer:

1) possible spyware/adware infection

2) Internet browsing habits are suspect to sloth, lust, and possibly even greed and gluttony

3) political postings on the web that lean greatly towards gullibility and mob mentality

4) Poop. No, really...actual poop. Just like scientists recently discovered that fecal matter can reside in the kitchen, etc., our scanners have picked up microscopic levels of dookie near the caps lock and the forward slash buttons. Possible contaminants can come from failure to wash after wiping, shaking hands with that one really creepy vendor, etc.

5) Possible booby pics saved on the hard drive. (If this is true, they must by law be immediately forwarded to the IS dept. and then deleted)

If you can confirm that any of the above are true, please bring the machine in for rinsing, exorcism and hinge strength testing AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, i.e. ASAP. But please do not RSVP to this email, as it has been "auto generated", also known as an email that is "solo-textual".

Not that there's anything wrong with that.