Portland Mayor Tom Potter, immediately following the revelation the FBI wouldn't grant him top secret clearance he recently "decided he needed".

Portland, OR (UFIA) - Just this week, Portland mayor Tom Potter made the groundbreaking decision to be the first in the US to formally withdraw support from the regional FBI anti-terror task force.
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He said that if they were unwilling to change the long standing protocol to also let him (and not just the specially dedicated officers) have full access to all of the FBI's top secret local information, that he was going to make a statement by withdrawing their protection of the over half a million people populated city. After negotiations broke down and he formally cut ties, he expressed having a "basically really good feeling, having stood up for principal over the mere practical protection of human lives."
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Potter's contention of requiring access to all the local top secret files was his insistence that he was Portland's necessary and supreme protector of human rights. He made it clear that he alone could guarantee that no citizen's liberties would be trampled or their feelings hurt through FBI policing work. He called it a "gift" he owned and one with which he was born. He said that he clearly stated this as the centerpiece of his campaign promises that gained him the mayoral office victory last November: "They knew I promised to withdraw city support for those Neanderthals in the FBI before last November, and that's why they voted me into office. It's obvious."
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The press conference was cut short when a family dispute broke into the proceedings via a phone call from Potter's wife. Sources secretly reveal that earlier in the morning, before leaving home for work, Tom walked into the kitchen and approached his wife as she tended a young toddler she was babysitting. Sources claim that when Tom saw the child sitting in a small portable wash tub filled with dirty bath water, he immediately threw both of them into the back yard. He insisted it was the only way to keep from offending anyone who might have an aversion to dirty water of any kind. "As long as no one gets offended, everything will be OK. Trust me."
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Immediately before leaving the proceedings, Tom stopped and spoke out in a calm voice, "if the council knows what my liberal handlers have told me to be right, they will immediately support and vote through my decision to dump these Red state liberty and feeling tramplers from our fine city. If they don't, they better remember that I own the damn ball we're playing with. And I sure as hell won't hesitate to take it and go home. Thank you and have a safe weekend!"

None of the characters in this story are real. Sadly though, much of the fiction in this story reflects some current events. If they at all make you feel uneasy, then we highly recommend you try going home and hiding under your bed until the fictional character "Potter" is either voted out or impeached.